arielle-may is mariel.
at some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.
unknown  (via luatide)

Sometimes, I guess there just aren’t enough rocks.

Our princess’s FIRST 1st birthday party! ☺️⛄️❄️ #MakaelaElise #OrMakaelaELSA #FrozenThemed

Our princess’s FIRST 1st birthday party! ☺️⛄️❄️ #MakaelaElise #OrMakaelaELSA #FrozenThemed

Between us, I think there’s something special. And if I lose my mental, just hold my hand. Even if you don’t understand, hold up. 👭💗💋 #MakaelaElise #IllBeRightByYourSide #Til3005 #HolUp

Between us, I think there’s something special. And if I lose my mental, just hold my hand. Even if you don’t understand, hold up. 👭💗💋 #MakaelaElise #IllBeRightByYourSide #Til3005 #HolUp

I remember the day you were born, I thought things would get easier. A week later, I posted about surviving my first week as a mom not knowing what the next 51 weeks would have in store for me. This last year has been tougher than any words can express. Sometimes I wonder how I manage to find the strength to conquer the battles I fight each day, then I remind myself it’s because I have you. You are the reason I’ve been able to overcome every obstacle life has thrown at me. In you, I find my strength. In you, I find the version of myself that I want to be. I don’t know what I did to be blessed with such a perfect little girl, I truly do not deserve you but I will spend my days working to give you what you deserve - the world. I love you, I love you, I love you. Happy first birthday, boo. 😘💗👑 #MakaelaElise #EveryMonth #LastMonthlyPost #Slideshow #ShesAToddlerNow #brb #Crying

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via dorkvader)

i feel like this should be published and sold everywhere

(via the-hammer-of-fenris)

Wow

(via aweezysag17)

👌👏

(via infinite-love19)

DEAR MALE POPULATION,
READ NUMBER NINE OVER AND OVER AGAIN PLEASE
LOVE, THE FEMALE POPULATION

(via ohsaratopia)

MY BABY IS ONE!!! 😭😭😭 Midnight in front of the castle at Disneyland. Perf. 💓💗💓 #MakaelaElise #ICried #LongPostComingSoon

MY BABY IS ONE!!! 😭😭😭 Midnight in front of the castle at Disneyland. Perf. 💓💗💓 #MakaelaElise #ICried #LongPostComingSoon

nishlo:

but the real question is has nemo found himself